Length: ~1600 words
Author's note: For challenge #40 ("Contract for employment of a teacher at Hogwarts (including salary, benefits, expectations, code of conduct, etc.") in the April Non-fiction Fest
I. Whereas the Hogwarts Board of Governors agrees to pay, for the year following the signing of this contract, the sum of 125 Galleons per month plus room and board, with the following provisos:
A. Summer holiday pay will not be provided, except in cases in which the teacher remains engaged in assigned duties over the summer months. Summer holiday pay will not be provided for teachers engaged in research, except pursuant to the established rules covering sabbaticals.
B. A teacher who dies during the school year shall be considered to have forfeited the remainder of his or her annual salary, unless said teacher remains engaged in assigned duties following his or her death. In such cases, the teacher's salary will continue to be paid to the teacher's estate (see the Wizengamot's 1812 decision in Misselthwaite v. Misselthwaite, dec.). In addition:i. A deceased teacher who is unable to physically or magically sign a contract may still renew his or her contract at the discretion of the Hogwarts administration under the current legal rules for contracture with incorporeal entities.
ii. A deceased teacher whose teaching contract is not renewed may remain resident in Hogwarts provided he or she accepts the Hogwarts Code of Ghost Conduct, and at the discretion of the ghosts currently employed to represent the four Hogwarts houses.
iii. A deceased teacher who does not meet the requirements for continued residence in Hogwarts may be banished at any time following his or her demise. By signing this contract, the teacher forfeits the right to sue for any emotional distress resulting from such banishment;
II. And whereas the Hogwarts Board of Governors agrees to provide all necessary medical treatment in the Hogwarts infirmary as needed, and to cover the costs of any treatment at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies determined necessary by the Hogwarts staff mediwitch/mediwizard and the St. Mungo's admitting mediwitch/mediwizard, with the following provisos:
A. Teachers shall additionally be reimbursed for the cost of insurance against job-related disabling injuries, dismemberment, Vanishing, splinching, unbreakable curses, permanent loss of memory, and/or irreversible Transfiguration. Such insurance coverage is not mandatory for employment but is highly recommended;
III. And whereas the Hogwarts Board of Governors agrees that the teacher shall not be held liable for any destruction of Hogwarts property caused by students, except in cases where failure to prevent such destruction resulted from negligence in the teacher's duties to adequately supervise his or her class, and agrees that the teacher shall be reimbursed for any destruction of personal property caused by students, except as noted above;
IV. And whereas the teacher agrees to report to the Hogwarts Headmaster in a timely fashion any conditions that he or she considers to pose a health or safety hazard to faculty or students, including but not limited to:
A. Assaults on faculty by students, including the use of spells prohibited under the Hogwarts school rules, the introduction of prohibited potions or substances into any item intended to be consumed by Hogwarts faculty, or the introduction by students into the Hogwarts grounds of any beasts prohibited as pets under the Hogwarts school rules.
B. The presence within the Hogwarts castle of unauthorized persons, beings, ghosts or spirits, or of dangerous beasts, plants, or charmed objects (with the exception of those in the legitimate possession of faculty members for instructional or research purposes).
C. Practice of the Dark Arts or use of Unforgivable Curses within the Hogwarts grounds;
V. And whereas the teacher agrees to abide by the rules of conduct pursuant to Hogwarts faculty, as herein enumerated:
A. The teacher will refrain from using curses, hexes, or forced Transfiguration as a punishment. Corporal punishment may only be administered at the discretion of the Headmaster.
B. The teacher will refrain from practicing the Dark Arts within the Hogwarts grounds or teaching the practice of the Dark Arts to students, except as constitutes a normal part of the course of instruction in Defense Against the Dark Arts as determined by the NEWT examining board.
C. The teacher will refrain from physical or magical attacks on students, whether within the context of a legal duel or otherwise, except at the discretion of the Headmaster as a part of a student's course of instruction in offensive and defensive magics.
D. The teacher will refrain from biting students under any circumstances.
E. The teacher will conduct his or her personal affairs in a way that reflects appropriately on the institution of Hogwarts. While guests are permitted in teachers' quarters at the Headmaster's discretion, spouses or persons with whom teachers are romantically involved are not to reside at Hogwarts unless such person is also employed by Hogwarts, in which case see F. below.
F. The teacher will refrain from becoming romantically involved with other Hogwarts faculty or staff if, in the opinion of the Headmaster, such involvement would be destructive to classroom discipline or the work of other faculty or staff. The use of love spells or potions on faculty or staff is particularly forbidden.
G. The teacher will refrain from becoming romantically involved with Hogwarts students or conduct that might reasonably lead to the suspicion of such involvement.
H. The teacher will refrain from using alcohol, herbs, potions, or other substances in such a way as to detract from his or her ability to perform his or her assigned duties safely and effectively;
VI. And whereas the teacher accepts responsibility for assisting in defending the Hogwarts grounds and student body against threats including but not limited to discovery by Muggles, attack by dark creatures, attack by any unauthorized persons, curses, hexes, destructive spells, fire, flood, dragons, and/or the undead;
VII. And whereas the teacher contracts to teach at least seven but no more than twenty-eight weekly sessions of Defense Against the Dark Arts to a standard acceptable to the Headmaster and Hogwarts Board of Governors, subject to annual review;
VIII. We, the undersigned representatives of the Hogwarts Board of Governors and administration do establish this contract with Harry James Potter for the academic year of 2002-2003.
Minerva McGonagall, Headmistress
Arthur Weasley, Governor
(Owl post correspondence found filed with the contract above)
Would you mind looking this over for me? I don't know much about wizard contracts. --HP
Of course not, Harry, I'd be happy to. It looks pretty standard, though. --HG
125 Galleons a month doesn't seem like much. --HP
It's not much. Teachers don't get rich. On the other hand, they're slightly less likely to get killed than Aurors or Hit Wizards. --HG
Section I.B. isn't a requirement, is it? -- HP
No, of course not, it's just an option. Most teachers who die at Hogwarts don't go on teaching classes as ghosts. They just get a nice plaque somewhere. --HG
That's comforting. --HP
Well, you did ask. --HG
Can you really get insurance against all those things? --HP
Yes, although I suspect your rates might be rather high considering ... well, considering. You should talk to Dennis Creevy, he's an actuary now. --HG
Hagrid must have violated IV.B. about a million times. --HP
Well, I'm sure he never thought any of his pets were actually dangerous. Besides, as long as he's using them to teach Care of Magical Creatures, it's all right. --HG
So I could have a pet Acromantula or something if I said I was using it to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts? --HP
Unfortunately, yes. --HG
Leave it to Hagrid, Harry. Or you'll never get insurance at all. --HG
Exactly how do I teach Defense Against the Dark Arts without violating IV.C. ? --HP
Well, you don't have to demonstrate Unforgivable Curses, do you? --HG
Don't I? --HP
You can't do it officially. What you work out with McGonagall is between you two, I suppose. But I really think it would be better to stick to the rules. --HG
I'll talk to McGonagall. --HP
I was afraid you'd say that. --HG
V.A. What a joke. --HP
I don't think Dumbledore would have approved of what Umbridge was doing if he knew about it. --HG
You think he didn't know about it? --HP
I don't know, Harry. Does it really matter now? --HG
Not much, no. But I still have the scar. --HP
You could probably get that removed. --HG
I'll keep it. --HP
Do try to keep V.B. in mind, won't you? I don't want you to get in trouble. --HG
I'm not going to teach them the Dark Arts. Just how to defend themselves against the Dark Arts. That's my job. --HP
... right. --HG
Is V.D. about L.? --HP
No, it's been part of the standard contract for ages, I looked it up. I think they must have had a vampire teacher, once. --HG
Okay, let me get this straight: I can have overnight guests, but I can't live with anyone at Hogwarts, even if we're married, and I can't date another teacher unless McGonagall says it's all right? --HP
And you can't date students. --HG
I wouldn't, anyway. --HP
You wouldn't, but I'm sure there've been incidents. --HG
Does this contract really imply that I can use whatever ... herbs ... I want at Hogwarts as long as it doesn't interfere with my duties? --HP
Well, possibly, but I'm sure you wouldn't do anything like that, Harry. --HG
... right. VI. is cheery. --HP
Well, maybe none of those things will happen. --HG
How likely is that? --HP
... are you sure you don't want to be a Hit Wizard? --HG
Pretty sure. I'm tired of fighting, Hermione. --HP
You'll be a good teacher. I really think so. --HG
Thanks. I'm going to sign it. --HP
Don't forget about the insurance! --HG
How likely is actual dismemberment? --HP
Just get the insurance, Harry. --HG
... right. --HP